TL;DR

• Google Tightens the Crypto Ad Leash

• David Sacks: From Crypto Czar to Chill Advisor

• Kraken and Ondo Make It Rain for Trump

• Tether’s Big Bet: $10 Billion in Profit

• Chainlink’s Mega Token Move

• Jump Trading Pays Up

• Nexo Eyes ETFs with a Green Twist

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Alpha of the Day

Google Tightens the Crypto Ad Leash

Google has announced fresh guidelines for cryptocurrency ads, with British advertisers now required to secure FCA registration starting in 2025. It’s like saying, “You can play, but only if you bring a permission slip.” This move is part of Google’s ongoing effort to clamp down on shady crypto ads, ensuring that Uncle Dave doesn’t lose his savings to a sketchy Bitcoin double-your-money scheme. The extra step might be a headache for advertisers, but it’s a win for transparency and legitimacy in the crypto space. Now, it’s up to marketers to gear up for the paperwork marathon.

David Sacks: From Crypto Czar to Chill Advisor

David Sacks, the former AI and crypto czar, has traded his crown for a cozy advisor role. Word on the street says he’s stepping back from the daily grind but staying close enough to keep his fingers in the pie. Maybe he’s realized that being a general advisor is like getting VIP access without the responsibility of running the show. Fans of Sacks hope this pivot doesn’t mean less innovation but rather more sage wisdom delivered from the sidelines. Let’s hope he’s using the extra free time to dabble in the metaverse—or maybe just take a real vacation.

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Kraken and Ondo Make It Rain for Trump

Kraken and Ondo have each shelled out $1 million to celebrate U.S. President-elect Trump’s inauguration. Whether it’s a political statement or a PR move, these donations have certainly raised eyebrows. It’s not every day you see crypto companies dropping fat stacks on political events. Critics might argue this isn’t the best use of funds, but hey, what better way to announce, “We’re here, and we mean business”? One thing’s for sure: the crypto world is as much about bold moves as it is about blockchain.

Tether’s Big Bet: $10 Billion in Profit

Tether’s CEO is placing a massive bet on the company’s performance, confidently predicting a jaw-dropping $10 billion net profit for 2024. That’s enough zeros to make even the most seasoned investors do a double-take. Tether’s role as a stablecoin giant puts it in a strong position to rake in the cash, but the forecast also invites scrutiny. Will this prediction hold up, or is it just a flex? Either way, Tether’s got its sights set on dominating the crypto profit charts like it’s a Mario Kart race for first place.

Chainlink’s Mega Token Move

Chainlink made waves after unlocking 61,125,000 LINK tokens, worth a cool $258.14 million, from non-circulating addresses. This hefty transfer has the crypto community buzzing with speculation—what’s the plan for all that LINK? While some see opportunity, others fear sell-off pressures looming on the horizon. It’s like someone just took a treasure chest from a vault and plopped it in the middle of the crypto battlefield. Whether this move sparks a LINK gold rush or a panic sell-off, only time will tell.

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Jump Trading Pays Up

Jump Trading’s crypto arm, Tai Mo Shan, has agreed to fork over $123 million to settle charges from U.S. regulators. Ouch. That’s a lot of zeros, even for a company deep in the trading trenches. This settlement highlights the ongoing regulatory crackdown on crypto firms, reminding everyone that no one is above the law—not even the big players. While the fine stings, it’s a stark reminder that playing fast and loose with the rules doesn’t come cheap.

Nexo Eyes ETFs with a Green Twist

Nexo 7RCC is making waves by filing S-1 paperwork for two ETFs—one focused on spot Bitcoin and the other on carbon credit futures. It’s like saying, “Let’s save the planet while stacking sats.” The dual focus appeals to both crypto enthusiasts and environmentally conscious investors, blending two hot topics into one package. If successful, these ETFs could mark a new chapter for sustainable investing in the crypto space. Who says you can’t make money and feel good about it?

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