TL;DR

• MicroStrategy’s Shopping Spree: Bitcoin Edition

• MoonPay Gets the Dutch Green Light

• Binance Alpha’s Funky Fresh Additions

• The Blockchain Association vs. IRS Smackdown

• BlackRock’s Bitcoin ETF: The GOAT Launch

• Tether CEO’s Chill Pill: Ignore the FUD

• The Fed’s Dot Plot Dilemma

• Gemini vs. CFTC: Court Date Drama

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Alpha of the Day

MicroStrategy’s Shopping Spree: Bitcoin Edition

MicroStrategy is back at it, expanding its Bitcoin treasure chest with an extra 2,138 BTC, snagged at an eye-popping average price of $97,837 per coin. That’s like buying a fleet of luxury yachts but digital and less seaworthy. Michael Saylor’s company now owns enough Bitcoin to make every crypto fan scream, “HODL goals!” While the rest of us are deciding whether to splurge on guac at Chipotle, MicroStrategy is out here adding billions to its BTC stash. If Bitcoin goes to the moon, they’ll be the ones renting the whole rocket.

MoonPay Gets the Dutch Green Light

MoonPay has officially secured its license from the Dutch Financial Market Authority, giving it the go-ahead to operate under the EU MiCA framework. Think of it as getting the VIP pass to Europe’s digital asset party. With this move, MoonPay is positioning itself as a major player in the regulated crypto payments space, and let’s face it, crypto regulation in Europe is becoming trendier than Amsterdam’s canals. Now that they’re licensed, MoonPay’s users can expect smoother, more compliant transactions without the regulatory headache.

Binance Alpha’s Funky Fresh Additions

Binance Alpha is spicing things up with its ninth batch of listings, featuring COCO, vvaifu, MIRA, SKI, and ALCH. It’s like a mixtape of tokens no one expected but now everyone wants to check out. Whether these names are future powerhouses or just fun to say out loud remains to be seen. Either way, Binance continues to prove it knows how to keep the crypto crowd hyped. If COCO or vvaifu moon, you’ll wish you weren’t busy laughing at the names and actually invested.

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The Blockchain Association vs. IRS Smackdown

The Blockchain Association has taken its gloves off and filed a lawsuit against the IRS, challenging its new digital asset reporting rules. They’re basically saying, “Back off, Uncle Sam!” This legal drama is about the IRS’s plan to peek into crypto wallets and transactions in ways the industry finds invasive. If the Blockchain Association wins, it could be a major victory for crypto privacy. If not, we might all need to brace for some very awkward tax season conversations.

BlackRock’s Bitcoin ETF: The GOAT Launch

The President of The ETF Store is hyping BlackRock’s Bitcoin Fund as “the most successful ETF launch in history,” and honestly, he’s got a point. BlackRock didn’t just enter the Bitcoin ETF space; they kicked the door down and took over the room. With unmatched brand power and institutional appeal, this ETF is making waves so big, even crypto skeptics are grabbing their surfboards. If ETFs had an Oscars, this one would already be polishing its trophy.

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Tether CEO’s Chill Pill: Ignore the FUD

Tether’s CEO is telling everyone to relax, promising that USDT is as solid as ever despite the endless stream of FUD (Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt). It’s like the crypto version of “Don’t worry, be happy.” With billions of USDT in circulation, any hint of instability sends shockwaves through the market, but Tether is assuring the community that their reserves and operations are as sturdy as a Bitcoin bull market. Let’s hope they’re not bluffing.

The Fed’s Dot Plot Dilemma

The Federal Reserve is considering ditching its famous "dot plot" to make communication less confusing. For those not in the know, the dot plot is like a Magic 8-Ball but for interest rate predictions, and it’s notorious for baffling everyone from economists to casual investors. Scrapping it could mean fewer mixed signals and more clarity about where rates are headed. For now, we’ll have to keep deciphering Fed speak like it’s a cryptic tweet from Elon Musk.

Gemini vs. CFTC: Court Date Drama

The trial between the CFTC and Gemini has been rescheduled to January 21, giving both sides extra time to prep their legal strategies. It’s like postponing a heavyweight boxing match—more anticipation, more drama. The case revolves around allegations of market manipulation, and the stakes are high for both Gemini and the regulators. Meanwhile, crypto enthusiasts are grabbing popcorn, eager to see how this showdown unfolds in court.

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